| Life |
[May. 13th, 2006|10:35 pm] |
Hello my friends!
So, I'm at home in Kenly for the summe, which is both a good and bad thing.
The good is this:
- I have an awesome job that I start on Monday, and that could potentially continue into a great post-graduation job, which means semi-security for my futre
- I get to hang out with my family, especially the bro, because its his last summer at home
- I have a free place to live, no cafeteria food, and no school
The bad is:
- I have no friends here
- I just started hanging out with a lot of really cool people before school ended, so I feel like I'm really missing out on fun times
- Johnston County is boring.
But anyhow, I'm both incredibly anxious and excited about this new job, because its actually something I'll enjoy (I hope), so my summer won't be a complete waste.
Keep in touch friends, cuz it gets lonely in the boonies.
<3 SWise |
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| Brain dump |
[Apr. 19th, 2006|11:07 am] |
Planning for the future sucks, because it involves entirely too much worrying.
Sometimes I think I'm rock star, usually when I'm driving in my car alone, or cleaning my room. Actually, I'd prefer to be a rock star girlfriend, because they get all the coolness but waay less stalkers.
I've determined that my ideal profession is storyteller. That way, I get to write and make movies and do pretty much whatever the hell interests me at the moment.
My idea of the good life life is slightly trashier, much more exciting, and immensely more carefree than my real life.
I miss being really into music, but I'm working on it.
I thought I was so not cool in high school, but looking back, I was effin awesome. I'm awesome now, too, but way more mature and responsible on the outside.
I've really been in a dancing mood lately. The DJ in my brain is on, 24-7.
Is it summer yet? |
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| just a little mindless entertainment for us all |
[Mar. 20th, 2006|04:22 pm] |
On your current playlist, hit shuffle and pick the first twenty songs on the list.
Write down the first line of the song.
Have your friends comment and see if they know the songs.
When someone guesses correctly, strike out the line and list the correct name of the song next to it.
If the first line of the song contains the title, skip it!
***hint: the starred ones have been recorded by more than one artist, so the first that comes to mind is probably not the answer. what can i say, i love the art form that is the cover song.
1.i got no regret right now
*2.(Stand By Me, Pennywise; good job crystal!)when the night has come, and the land is dark
3.it's not enough to hear me say you've won, you only wanted me for having fun
4.(The District Sleeps, Postal Service; crystal again)smeared black ink, you're palms are sweaty, and i'm barely listening
*5.(Such Great Heights, Iron and Wine, seanette)i'm thinking its a sign that the freckles in our eyes. . .
6. summertime and the wind is blowin' outside
*7.nobody on the road, nobody on the beach
8.(Sound of Settling, Death Cab for Cutie; seanette)i've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots
*9.(Landslide, Dixie Chicks; seanette)i took my love and i took it down
10.(Rivers of Babylon, Sublime; crystal) by the rivers of babylon, where he sat down
11.So this ain't the end - I saw you again today
*12.(Tiny Dancer, Ben Folds; ashley was close enough:)blue jean baby, l.a. lady, seamstress for the band
13.hello there, the angel from my nightmare, the shadow in the background of the morgue
14.and i say just go, please dave just drive
15.steal my heart, and hold my toungue
16.yeah, it hardly matters (this sickness is killing my will)
17.i got this feelin' that i've been here before
18.amy's twelve years old
*19.on a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
20.never seen you run so fast |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 30th, 2006|02:53 pm] |
Okay, so this is for a class (really) and not just my own vain interest.
Take the prase "Sarah is ______" and fill in ten different words or phrases that describe me. Post your answers (please!)
I'm supposed to get at least three close aquaintances to answer the question and compare "the world's" view of me with my view of myself. If you help, I'll love you forever :)
<3
SWise |
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| Update from the great beyond |
[Jan. 6th, 2006|03:52 pm] |
You know, I go so long w/o writing in this thing that sometimes all I do is update. But I can't bear to get rid of it.
Its the start of a new year (the last full year that I won't be a grown-up) and a new semester for me. Another new beginning. So, I've made some resolutions for myself that, hopefully, will come true.
1. Get in shape (who doesn't make this one? But I'm motivating myself by setting my first goal to be at a certain by my 21st birthday, which brings me to the next resolution)
2. Appreciate myself and allow others to do the same.
3. Live my life now instead of putting it off for a "better" time.
4. Become a person of substance (my ultimate lifegoal)(not saying that I'm worthless or anything, but I want to continually become better.)
Realistic goals I think, but all goals I have made before, which means its going to be harder to accomplish and stick with them. I hope that by professing my goals and writing more that I will be able to stick with them and have a support group to help me out.
I love you all, and I will be back in Raleigh with my real internet soon.
<3 Sarah |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 1st, 2005|04:38 pm] |
I struggle with forward motion . . .
I can't seem to make myself do anything that could even remotely set something else in motion, because, while I'm not perfectly happy with my life right now, I'm not unhappy, and something new could make that happen (unhappiness, I mean).
So is it better to settle and not know than to go for it and fail? I have a chronic fear of failure. But it's mostly in reguard to who I am as a person.
I am fully assured and confident in my skills and talents, but when it comes to just being me, and letting the world face up to that, I'd rather hide out for a while.
Because if you insult my abilities, I can prove you wrong.
But if you offend my being, my self-awareness, my existance, I have no ammunition with which to fire. I'm exposed and defeated. How do you fight that?
I'm not really sad about this so much as I am confused. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|05:17 pm] |
I know it gives the same results to anyone named Sarah, but it makes me smile, okay?
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| an update on my endless quest for a job |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|01:38 pm] |
You would think that people would WANT to hire someone like me. I'm willing to work just about anywhere, doing just about anything besides frying food and cleaning toilets. But I cannot seem to get a flippin job. I've only gotten three callbacks, one of which my mom told me I shouldn't have even applied to because I would hate it, and two of whom scheduled me for interviews.
The first interview was a sneak attack - I thought it would be me and the managers; instead, it was me, eight other people, and the managers. Majorly sucked, and no one from there ever called me back.
Today I go for this interview that a friend's mom got for me. Connectionsa are a shoo in, right? Nope. Turns out they don't actually have a position open, but they wanted to interview me in case something comes up.
So does anyone know anyone who is hiring or who needs a baby-sitter??
In other news, my life is pretty mundane. I go to class, I leave class, do a little homework, and either watch tv or go shopping without buying anything. Yee-haw!
<3 SWise |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 31st, 2005|10:31 pm] |
so today has been one of those days.
nothing is all that different than yesterday, but im needing to crawl out of my skin.
i just want to go drive the night away, alone, because when im feeling lonely i don't like to be social.
but gas is too expensive to drive out in one night.
the hurricane aftermath on tv makes me sick to my stomach. so much destruction, suffering and pain that no one could prevent. no one. and we are sitting here in our unharmed airconditioned buildings and watching it. something just seems off to me about that.
im feeling that kind of lonely that makes me anxious and guilty-feeling for no reason. i hate it.
i want to be loved and reassured by someone that i could love and find reassuring. and i kind of hate that too.
i need to stop convincing myself that everything has a meaning, and that things could happen simply because i want them to. i need to get real with myself.
but really, i need to go to bed and sleep off this funk.
but i can't sleep. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 30th, 2005|09:33 pm] |
so, it seems, i have fallen off the face of the planet since june. and really, kenly is not exacly on the map. but i'm back on the map in raleigh, and if you cared to miss me, worry no longer.
i'm now developing a healthy obsession with facebook, hanging out instead of doing work, going out, and in general acting more like a real college student and less like your grandma (that is, unless your grandma is supercool).
and what's more, i'm generally loving my life.
just in case you wanted to know.
and im wondering if its really too unrealistic to want to believe the same things i did at sixteen. to believe that i could have complete control over my future - know who i wanted to marry, where i would live, where i would work; to think that i was invincible, even against the progression of time.
and im starting to think that maybe i don't have to have it all figured out before i go to sleep tonight, because tomorrow brings a whole new set of circumstances anyhow.
i love you all,
SWise |
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retro_violet's journal